Walking by faith and not by sight….
That is definitely a motto for the ministry here in Spain, and can turn into a struggle, as I have seen happening in my life in the last 2 years as a missionary.
Spain is a hard mission field. It is not wasted time though. I am a Spaniard; I was saved here in Spain, and surrender my live for the ministry while I was here in Spain. I would be going to hell if it wasn’t for the missionaries that invested their lives in me.
But, at times, now from the missionary point of view, sometimes it is hard to stay focus in the task before us.
I still don’t understand fully what a missionary wife goes through when moves to the mission field. I know the language; after all, Spanish is my first language. I know the culture, I don’t share it because I am a Christian and any culture is wicked in the sight of the Lord, but I know it and I understand it. I know that people are not yelling, they are just talking. They are not fighting, they just use their hands a lot when they talk. They are not rude, they have a sarcastic sense of humor (I do share that one J).
But I know what loneliness is, and you know I feel it because I have mentioned it in my last two posts (hehe). My family lives 5 hours away, a lot closer than before, but still far enough to not be able to see them more than once or twice a year and for a very short time. I don’t have friends here, and being a mom, I don’t have very many chances to meet new people.
I know rejection, for I see my husband going out every day, passing at least 1,000 invitations every week for our services (mailbox by mailbox) , and then visiting, doing what he can to show God’s love to them. And then Sunday come, and may not be anyone coming.
I know spiritual battles. I have seen the devil try to destroy my family in every way possible. I have felt a great evil presence while praying with someone unsaved for their souls. I have felt walls before me while sharing the gospel with someone (Daniella, do you remember Luz?). I have felt like I was throwing pebbles to a big stone wall while out on visitation. I have seen the devil messing with my mind, trying to convince me that it is not worth it, that my efforts don’t matter anyway.
Still I serve a great God that has allowed me to know spiritual victories. To lead people to the Lord. To hear them cry thanking God for taking them from the hand of the devil. I have seen prayers answer in great ways. I have seen God supplying every need. I have seen God healing hearts, marriages, spiritual lives. And although I am unworthy, He has allowed me to take a part in all those miracles.
To walk by faith and not by sight….. To keep my eyes in Jesus instead of circumstances. To remember it is not done by who I am but for who He is. Not for what I do but for what He has done. Not in my timing but in His perfect timing. Not giving the results that I want or expect but for His glory. Walking by faith and not by sight……